if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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