I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
