he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
