I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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