Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
