it wasn't lemon gatorade
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
