I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
