I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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