i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
