its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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