the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
