Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
