mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We have started to decorate penises.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I have post one night stand depression
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
