Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i will never coherently bang her
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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