u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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