M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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