he looks like a really good dad on facebook
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
