is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
the liver wants what the liver wants
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize