the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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