do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
