Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
