i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
