I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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