omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
