actually, I'm a sock model
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
