my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
