Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
