Kareoke will never be a sober sport
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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