Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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