And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
