we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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