have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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