Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
