Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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