ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
