im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
