Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
