i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
