Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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