Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So much Jack, so little girl.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
