I bet he comes in French.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
