I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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