If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
