pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
