I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
