whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
third nipple confirmed
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
