I think I died a long time ago.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
