the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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