How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
