Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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